She smelled like cherries
by swankatic
Summary: "Do you believe in happy endings?" AU. Kate and Rick meet only two months after Johanna's death in California, on her last night before returning to New York.


_Hello there! For those who don't know, my name is Niina (my Twitter is bubblebeckett) and I'm a 18-year-old girl from Finland. And I'm very nervous to publish this short story since English isn't my first language so I really hope you'll be kind with the feedback._

 _I don't own any of the characters, all rights belong to ABC / the writers._

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"Do you believe in happy endings?"

Rick watched as the tall, stunning brunette lit a cigarette in front of him, inhaled smoke and exhaled it with a heavy sigh. Her words were still heavy in the air, honest and even painful as the young writer noticed the emptiness in her hazel eyes. He had seen her on the campus a couple of times before, in the library reading Russian poetry, and in a party few weeks ago laughing and downing vodka shots.

"What do you mean?" he said a little out of breath which caused the young woman to laugh quietly, shaking her head before she inhaled smoke again. Rick watched her profile, sharp cheekbones and full lips as she started to cough. The writer was mesmerized by the way she moved, how her wavy brown hair barely touched her shoulders. He knew there was a story that the young woman carried with her, a mystery he wanted to solve but she was still a stranger, barely reachable.

He knew that it'd only take one wrong word to send her away.

But God, how stunning she was. Even when she laughed with the weight on her shoulders, her laugh was one of the most beautiful things Rick had ever heard. They just stood there awkwardly, hoping that the other person would say something first as the night around them got colder – after all it was only early March. Before arriving to California few months earlier, he had never really known how cold the nights would get there after the sunset.

"I don't. I think it's bullshit to wait for some kind of a miracle, and hope that one day life won't hit us as hard as it does now", Kate said and watched the older man next to her who flinched from the bitter tone of her voice. She knew she should've felt bad for the sharpness of her gaze, and the way she was trying to push him away, but she really didn't care. Inside of her mind, Katherine Beckett was drowning into her loss and the sadness that was pulling her deeper into the rabbit hole.

"What's your name?" He asked instead of answering her question and looked at her with those beautiful, deep blue eyes. "Kate", she said quietly and bit her tongue as Kbex almost slipped away from her lips. It wasn't who she was, not anymore. The night she had lost her mother, a part of her had died as well. Kate couldn't forget how pale her mother had been as the detectives had taken her to the crime scene to identify the body. How all the officers had looked at her with pity in their eyes, feeling sorry for her as she had collapsed to the ground and screamed from her devastating loss.

She didn't cry until her mother's funeral was over.

Her eyes filled with emptiness again as she dropped the used cigarette to the ground and stepped on it, smothering it without even looking down. "I'm Rick", the man answered without adding anything else. His heart ached as Kate looked away from him and bit her lower lip nervously, looking like she could run away at any moment.

She hated him for seeing the pain in her eyes, for reading her and understanding that she was damaged. He almost managed to hide the pity in his eyes, but not well enough. It wasn't supposed to go like that, not even when the darkness hid the shadows under her eyes, the dark circles that were screaming from sleepless nights. Even her closest friends were absolutely clueless about how lost she was, but not him. Rick saw through her fake smiles and bitter comebacks in less than twenty minutes.

Kate despised being vulnerable in front of other people.

A car drove past them as Kate leaned against the stone wall behind her which made her feel more safe and confident as she rised her left eyebrow and questioned his motives. "So Rick, what do you want from me? I'm pretty sure you don't smoke because that's a nasty habit, and you seem like a smart guy", she said as she slid her cold hands into her black leather jacket pockets. Her left hand's fingertips were running on the edge of her pack of cigarettes.

A wave of memories washed over her as she remembered walking on the streets of New York on that winter night, stumbling on the icy streets as it started snowing. It had been years since she had tried smoking and being absolutely clueless about cigarette brands, Kate had bought the cheapest pack possible from a corner store just to feel a little more warm after her life had started to fall apart. She still remembered how tough it had been to stop coughing after the first cigarette that had made her feel like she was going to throw up. The cold air had slowly made her body numb, making the pain easier to deal with while the smoke had burned her lungs, forcing her to breathe the freezing winter air.

"You seem to be pretty smart yourself", Rick answered eventually and tried to read the expression on her face. He was able to see the tightness on her shoulders and neck as she forced a laugh and shook her head. "I used to be smart, you know. But things happen and suddenly … nothing really matters", Kate said and raised her shoulders before letting them to sink again. When the young woman didn't say anything else, Rick took a step closer to her and leaned against the cold stone wall which caused their shoulders to brush against each other. "I'm actually trying to find stories, I'm a writer", he said eventually and looked at her with honesty written all over his face.

For a moment, the younger woman just studied his face. The few lines on his face, telling her that he laughed a lot and Kate was already able to sense that he was a good guy. Despite everything she was going through in her head, she didn't want him to just go away and disappear into the night. "I'm not good with words, but maybe I can show you glimpses of one", she said eventually and looked down at her feet, pausing for a moment. "Maybe you can write me a better ending", Kate mumbled, knowing from the gentle way he touched her shoulder that he had heard her muttered words.

* * *

Only a couple of minutes later, she locked the door behind them as they made their way up to her old dorm room which would get a new resident in the morning. Kate followed him slowly, watching his back as he tried make sense of the couple of cardboard boxes which were the last remains of her property that still hadn't been sent to New York. "My flight is leaving tomorrow afternoon, this is my last night in California", she admitted finally as he turned around and was clearly just about to question why they were in a half empty dorm room. Her heartbeat was loud in her ears as he frowned, opening his mouth and closing it again as he wasn't able to put his thoughts into words.

Before thinking twice, Kate cut him off by pressing her lips against his, eager to feel close to someone.

Her mouth tasted like peppermint, totally blowing his mind and leaving him to stand still in the middle of the empty floor as the room around him was spinning. Rick didn't want to stop, he couldn't stop himself from kissing her lips and pulling her closer. It amazed him how despite the cigarette she had smoked earlier, she tasted so good and fresh. So light despite of the darkness that was weighing her down. But he knew it was wrong, he knew that they had only just met and she just wanted to feel a little less alone. Rick gasped from surprise as she bit his lower lip gently, quickly reminding him that they needed to slow down.

"Kate, stop", he said out of breath and broke the connection between their lips, seeing instantly the hurt and regret written all over her beautiful features. "You're lonely", Rick stated instead of blaming her or asking any questions. She looked younger, even scared as her hazel eyes widened and gave her up, revealing to him how badly it hurt her that he had pushed her away. He took her face between his hands and brushed his left thumb softly over her slightly swollen lips before letting her go. "You don't have to kiss me to make me stay, I'm not going anywhere", he said quietly, letting his arms fall to his sides as his heart was racing.

When Kate turned on her heels and escaped into the bathroom without bothering to lock the door behind her, Rick didn't hesitate to follow her. It wasn't until he reached the white door that he started to get nervous, wondering if he should just leave her be. After knocking the door twice, the writer opened it and found her curled up in the empty bathtub, her shoulders shaking violently as she was crying. It only took a couple of steps and climbing in before he wrapped his arms around her trembling body, not caring about personal boundaries as she buried her face against his neck.

She smelled like cherries.

"I'm here, Kate. It's going to be okay", Rick whispered into her hair and let his eyes fall shut as Kate's violent sobbing turned into soft cries and her fingers tried to find a place to hold on, eventually clinging onto his shirt. While waiting for her to calm down, the writer let his eyes to wander around in the empty bathroom. The cracks on the walls seemed deep while the pale lights made everything look a mixture of bleached ocean blue and green. He looked down at Kate and noticed how small she looked in his arms, her gaze filled with fear as she was trying to blink the tears away and wipe away the mascara stains from her cheeks.

"My mom was murdered two months ago", she whispered and took a shaky breath before straightening her back and leaning against the ceramic tile wall. Kate was able to see the shock written all over his face as she leaned against him carefully, just wanting to feel him close. And just like that, she started to open up in front of him not as if she had known him for an hour, but like they had known each other for years. But maybe that was the beauty of it, he didn't know who she had been before. He didn't care about the fact that her voice was shaking, because all that mattered was the story – all that mattered was Kate.

"I don't even like smoking", Kate admitted after pouring out her heart and laughed as she still had tears in her eyes. Her voice was raspy after sobbing and struggling to put her thoughts into words.

Kate inhaled his smell for the last time before slowly pulling away from his embrace, letting him straighten his jacket. For a moment, they both just stared at each other and tried to hide their smiles. "I'm sorry for being so messed up tonight, it wasn't probably the best first impression", she said shyly and looked down at the ugly plastic flooring. "Don't apologise for being vulnerable, it's not a weakness", Rick said and touched her shoulder gently before taking a slightly wrinkled bussiness card from his pocket, and writing down something before giving it to her. After flipping the paper between her fingers, Kate looked up to him with confusion written all over her face. She was even more surprised when he leaned closer to her.

"I've seen you around here before. And believe me, you're so much more than the tragedy of losing your mother", he whispered into her ear before placing a light kiss to her cheek and walking away, closing the door behind him. Her heart was still racing as she stared at the phone number on the crumpled paper, knowing that things were going to change. Not only because she was going back to New York, but because he had given her something precious, something she had lost two months ago with her mother.

Hope.

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 _Thank you for reading my first proper Castle fanfic! I'm planning to write an another short story in this alternative universe so you may want to follow this story just in case ..._


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